Tuesday, June 27, 2006

I am always right!

I was reading a friend's blog the other day. He was talking about how he often reacts incorrectly to things, like laughing while everyone else is crying. I said to him that he shouldn't worry so much because I always react "inappropriately" to things. For example, I loved my bubby more than anyone loved anyone. I cried sooooo much at her funeral. but when my bubby died almost 11 years ago, my reaction - which was not quiet or under my breath or anything - was something like "well there goes my main source of income!" (b/c she would give me money whenever she could - birthday, chanukah, afikomen, she would even invent reasons to give me money....it's march 22nd, here's some money...) It really can't get much more inappropriate than that, ya know... and I was in 11th grade - i.e. old enough to know not say stupid things like that.

I'm going to try to say this in a way that makes sense, but I'm very tired so try and keep up. I feel like people give too much credit to how "everyone else" does something and if "everyone else" is doing it, it's ok but if no one else is doing it, it's bad. Here's an example. If you are in shul and everyone is talking during davening, then according to this logic, it's ok to talk and if you try to shush ppl, you get evil stares. Conversely, if you go into a silent shul where no one talks and you talk, you also get evil stares.
If you're in the noisy shul, but you think people should not be talking, tell them to shush! Don't be embarrassed just b/c you're the only one who feels a certain way in a crowd full of people. Stand up for waht you believe. And also, you never know who else might agree with you but might also be too embarrassed to express it and you might be helping that person.

I'm not advocating talking during davening... What I'm trying to say is that I don't think we should give "everyone" so much credit. Just b/c "everyone" is doing something a certain way, or reacting a certain way, doesn't make it right - or wrong. Sometimes, yes you should conform to what "everyone else" is doing.....like if you go to England where everyone drives on the left, I don't think that is the right place to be different....b/c then you'll be splatted. But other times, it's ok to be different. I told this friend and I'm saying to all of "you". I don't think there's any right or wrong way to do stuff and to react to stuff and to live YOUR life. And you should Never let anyone tell you - verbally or passively or any other way - that what you are doing or wearing or saying or being is wrong. It sucks when you let other ppl govern your actions. It makes you into a victim and I know people who love to be the victim. They are either sad, depressed or angry, and always blaming others. Wanna know what keeps them stuck? They are so afraid of using their own power, that they don't make things happen. So, will you use your personal power?!
You are You and don't let anyone else tell you how that is supposed go.


At 6/27/2006 5:23 PM, Blogger Devora:-) said...


At 6/27/2006 10:42 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

can we have another roadtrip? only this time lets all be awake hehe
love and faith

At 7/13/2006 1:42 PM, Anonymous Chertyl the Turtle said...

I just wanted to let you know that I forwarded this entry on your blog to Beth.

At 8/03/2014 1:34 AM, Blogger Ronald Van Hook said...



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