My Ode to Dating

I have no idea when I wrote this or what I wrote it for. But it seems pretty funny and I found it on my laptop - while I was looking for something else I wrote last year that I wanted to post on my blog. anyways, enjoy this poem. It's patented and copyrighted. so no stealing!

My ode to dating……ugh!

I just woke up, the hour’s late.

I totally forgot I have a date.

Do I have time to jump in the shower?

I wonder as I keep watching the hour.

Sure, plenty of time to get clean.

Didn’t he call it for 6:15?

I grab the soap and towel and shampoo,

And I must bring Rubber Ducky too!

I’m finally done with my shower.

That was fast….only took me 2 hours.

I’m out. Now time to get dressed.

What should I wear to look my best?

If I want to look like a good frum girl,

I best be sporting my headband and pearls.

Headband??? That means I must do my hair.

But then I must decide what to wear!

3 hours for my hair, that’s pretty quick.

But I hear that clock; tick tick tick.

I finally decide on what to wear.

But my shoes don’t match the clip for my hair.

Back to the drawing board again and again.

I finally decide and get dressed when….

I check the clock. It’s laughing at me.

I’m nowhere near ready and it ½ past 3.

I must do my make-up – Clinique please be true.

My whole fate depends on you.

‘cause I’m a single girl.

But soon I’ll have to leave my single world.

Did I just hear a knock at the door?

Time to go out with someone I’ve never met before.

There’s just one problem I forgot his name.

Flipped through the phone book but that’s not the same.

I’m all dressed and ready for a formal night

When my date asks me “how about Kosher Delight?”

That’s where you’re taking me for dinner????

And he didn’t open the door for me. He’s a real winner!

The date went on. He belched and burped.

He ordered a soup and even that he slurped

I kept wondering could it get any worse?

As I searched for the watch buried in my purse.

But he seemed to really like me

Could it be it’s only 7:30???

I want to go home. This date is not fun.

But he’s gung ho. Our date is not done.

When? When? When is this through???

You’re mean and rude and I don’t like you!

I’m home finally, the end of the night.

What a horrible awful terrible sight.

I must call all my friends to cry and lament

And tell them all how my awful date went.

I don’t want to do this ever again.

Be'ezrat Hashem by Me!