Tuesday, July 25, 2006

הלכה-ic Loopholes - or the Jewish Get-Out-of-Jail-Free Card

One thing I love about Judaism is all the loopholes that come with it. There are soooo many ways to get out of sinning. Like you can't eat, enjoy, or even own any חמץ on פסח so therefore, you have to get rid of all the חמץ in your house - including all your dishes and all your unopened food and anything else that can't be used on פסח. But the Rabbis came up with the ultimate loophole. If you sell your house, and everything in it, then you don't own it, ergo, you don't really own any חמץ and now you don't have to burn out your house. (and I just used "ergo"! hehehe).
Or how about how you can't carry on שבת. But it's ok b/c Rabbis said if we surround the area with dental floss, and call the dental floss an עירוב, it's fine and you can now carry on שבת.*
Then there are the smaller loopholes like בטל בשישים. Normally if you get milk in your chicken soup, it's ruined and it's טרף and you can't eat it. But the Rabbis said that if you drop milk in a vat of chicken soup but the amount of milk is less than 1/60th as the amount of chicken soup, then it's fine and you can eat your chicken soup. I like throwing those around for fun. Like when someone asks a הלכה-ic question, I'll just randomly scream out some loophole - or התר, as the Rabbis like to call it. Like when someone
says what do I do about my keys on shabbat? Can I carry them? Are they מוקצה? And I just randomly say something like, "It's fine b/c of התר קירוב or בטל בשישים or אין בישול אחר בישול". (If something dry is already cooked, you can't הלכה-ically re-cook it so you can heat up food on שבת but not be sinning by cooking).
So the other day, someone asked me a question about fasting. What if you accidentally swallow water while you're swimming? Does that negate all your fasting. So I answered, with all my rabbinic expertise, that you probably shouldn't be swimming on a fast day to begin with. But also, the water is so chlorinated that even if you drink it on purpose, it's not good for you and you don't really benefit from it. And then he pulled my shtick and said "Yeah I guess it's not ראוי לאכילת כלב." (In terms of חמץ, if it's not fit for a dog to eat, don't worry about it.)

*I'm not חס ושלום knocking עירובים. Just making a silly post.


At 7/26/2006 5:07 PM, Anonymous Dovid said...

If the chlorine:water ratio is over 60:1 then it's also batel b'shishim!

At 7/26/2006 5:16 PM, Blogger Arona said...

LOL but I think you meant if the chlorine to water is 1:60...but i got it.

At 7/27/2006 4:20 PM, Anonymous ZK said...

Don't forget about Heter Vacation, Heter your Parents' House, and just about the best Heter out there - Heter Single (allowing you to do just about anything, cuz if G-d makes you single, really what do you owe him, and you need to do what you need to do to be happy. :)) Now just imagine what you could get away with if you were on vacation, in your parent's house, while being single. The possibilites are endless.....

At 7/28/2006 10:03 AM, Anonymous Cheryl said...

btw, you don't sell your house for Pesach, nor do you sell your dishes. Your chametz food is the only thing being sold. Yes, I, of all people, am quoting halach-ish to you!

But yes, YAY LOOPHOLES! Crock and a half if you ask me but life'd be pretty boring without them!


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