Return of The MisFortune Cookies

I really think I should publish a book of all the bad bad bad fortunes I get from fortune cookies. Today, I had 3 fortune cookies. Here's how my future looks:
1. "Do you feel like you're walking in mud? Take your time today." - Ok....Weird, but not mean.
2. "It's not the end yet. Let's stay with it" - Also ok. Kinda helpful, not so mean.
This last one is the best. I almost peed in my pants:
3. "It's over your head now. Time to get some professional help." - yeah....ok....I have no words.....