I hab a code id by doze

I have a cold. It sucks. I keep blowing my nose out. I've been blowing so hard, I feel like my brains are gonna fly out my ears....except that they're clogged. So I can't breathe, and I can't hear anything. And yesterday, I started coughing up my lungs. Fabulous! I'm losing my lungs in addition to my brain coming out my ears - oh wait....they're clogged....
So today, I didn't like the lunch they had at work, and i haven't ordered out in a really long time, and I was in the mood for hot soup, so I decided to treat myself to ordering out. I purposely ordered chicken soup - the best cure for a cold. I was sooo in the mood. But by the time it got here, it was cold! Cold soup?! How does that help me!? I tried to heat it up by adding really hot water to it, but that just made it watery. (we don't have a microwave in my office...in case you were wondering....) The hot water helped a little, so I ate a lot of hot/warm/hot/cold soup which I didn't really enjoy. So I dind't get to eat my steak lunch, and I'm not satisfied, but I'm full.

so now, my stomach is full of bad soup, my nose is full of crap, my ears are clogged full of crap, I didn't enjoy my lunch....ugh....is it Shabbat yet?!

"N" for Mnemonic

I recently finished teaching a beginners hebrew reading class. The goal of the class is just to get the students to recognize the letters and the sounds they make so that the students can read hebrew. There's no grammar or translating involved. It's just recognizing sounds of letters. I try to use good pneumonics to help the students recognize the differences between the letters that look the same - like the ס is ssssircular and the ם is mmmmore square.... Or the ט has a Tear on Top vs the מ has a Mountain. I was trying to show them the difference between the פ with the dot vs the פ without the dot. The פ with the dot is like a Profile of a Person and the פ without the dot is like a Face with no Features. Then a student decided to help and offered that the פ without the dot has no dot b/c it Farted it out. My students & I will never Forget the difference between the 2 פ's.

What do chulent, a hen, and a mountain have to do with eachother?

About every month, on Shabbat Mevarchim, my shul makes a kiddush. I am in charge of making sure the kiddush gets set up. It takes many people a lot of time to set it up and it's very hard to find people who are willing to wake up an hour earlier on a shabbat morning to help set up the kiddush. It reminds me of the story of:

The Little Red Hen

(A Golden Book, New York) Western Publishing Company, Inc, Racine, WI 53404

Once there was a Little Red Hen who lived in a barnyard with her three chicks and a duck, a pig and a cat.

One day the Little Red Hen found some grains of wheat. "Look look!" she clucked. "Who will help me plant this wheat?"

"Not I", quaked the duck, and he waddled away.

"Not I", oinked the pig, and he trotted away.

"Not I, meowed the cat, and he padded away.

"Then I will plant it myself," said the Little Red Hen. And she did.

When the wheat was tall and golden, the Little Red Hen knew it was ready to be cut. "Who will help me cut the wheat?" she asked.

"Not I," said the duck.

"Not I," said the pig.

"Not I," said the cat

"Then I will cut this wheat myself". And she did.

"Now", said the Little Red Hen, "it is time to take the wheat to the miller so he can grind it into flour. Who will help me?"

"Not I," said the duck.

"Not I," said the pig.

"Not I," said the cat.

"Then I will take the wheat to the miller myself," said the Little Red Hen. And she did.

The miller ground the wheat into fine white flour and put it into a sack for the Little Red Hen.

When she returned to the barnyard, the Little Red Hen asked, "Who will help me make this flour into dough?"

Not I," said the duck, the pig and the cat all at once.

"Then I will make the dough myself," said the Little Red Hen. And she did.

When the dough was ready to go into the oven, the Little Red Hen asked, "Who will help me bake the bread?"

"Not I," said the duck.

"Not I," said the pig.

"Not I," said the cat.

"Then I wll bake it myself," said the Little Red Hen. And she did.

Soon the bread was ready. As she took it from the oven, the Little Red Hen asked, "Well who will help me eat this warm, fresh bread?"

"I will," said the duck.

"I will," said the pig.

"I will," said the cat.

"No you won't," said the Little Red Hen. "You wouldn't help me plant the seeds, cut the wheat, go to the miller, make the dough or bake the bread. Now, my three chicks and I will eat this bread ourselves!"

And that's just what they did.

I think if I told the 500 or so people in my shul that they can't eat at the kiddush, I might have to go into the Witness Protection Program. So I will not be trying that any time soon.

I do appreciate all the help I do get. Thank you.

Enjoy the chulent.

Chodesh Tov! :)