It's not really sold out. I'm just saying that for fun

When I tell someone something is sold out, why can't s/he just believe me and say OK and go away?!?!? Why do they always second guess me??? "Are you sure?", "There's no way I can get in?", "But I've been around for 50 years....", "Is there anyone else I could speak to?", and I say "You can speak to whomever you want. It's still sold out!"
And furthermore - that's a big word for a sunday morning - sorry about that - so anyways, why do people call 2 hours before an event and expect there to be room?!? WHY? Would you book a plane ticket 2 hours before take-off? No. Would you.....I dunno....I can't think of anything besides buying a movie ticket which of course you buy 1/2 hour before the movie. But when the movie ticket man says to you the movie is sold out, do you argue with him? Do you tell him you've been a member of Loews Cineplex since you were 5 and you've been coming to their movies to the exclusion of AMC and how could they shun you like that??? Of course not! So why when I tell people something is sold out do they never listen?!?
And it's not like they learn to reserve earlier next time. Noooo. They just wait till the very lastest minute. I think it's a conspiracy against me. People all over the place are conspiring to call me last mintue just to mock me. Well I'll show them! NO YOU CANNOT LEAVE ME A VOICEMAIL! MY MACHINE IS SOLD OUT!

(That ending didn't make any sense but it sounded cool)

Hey you! You're beautiful!

I recently got very into being blunt and also saying things that I'm thinking and not being shy about it. Like the other day, I was in shul and this random girl who I never met was in front of me and she had a beautiful voice. So after davening, I tapped her on the shoulder and told her so. One time, I saw someone in the pizza store with shoes I loved. So I went up to her and asked her where she got them and we had a whole converstation about them. Of course 2 seconds later, I totally forgot what she said and I never found those shoes. The friend with me in the pizza store thought I was nuts and I think that woman might have also. But what do I care? And wouldn't you love it if someone came over to you at random and just handed you a compliment?
The reason I say all this is that I used to not be like this. Shocker, I know. There was once this advisor I met when I did NCSY and I always said from the moment I saw him that he has the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen. Like crystal, blue, the kind ppl pay for, so beautiful. And I always wanted to tell him so. But my friends said I can't b/c he might take it the wrong way, like I'm after him or something. And I thought why can't one person compliment another without someone it meaning anything more than just what was said? UGH! UGH I say! People are so stupid.
So I never told him. I always regretted not telling him. And now I don't see him anymore so I'll never be able to tell him. So sad. So ridiculous. Oh well. Life goes on. But if you're reading this, advisor man, you have the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen.

Don't have a good end!!

Around this time of year, during the ימים נוראים, people are always full of good wishes and whatnot. Everyone's wishing everyone else a כתיבה וחתימה טובה. For example, when I got to work today, one of my co-workers wished me a "גמר טוב". That was very nice of her. Until I thought about what that really means. "גמר" means finish or end - like - לגמור. And טוב means good. So my co-worker just wished me a "Good End". Now I know there are some people out there who don't like other people and do mean to wish bad stuff on them. That's kinda weird....whatever....I'm not judging..... But I would like to think my co-worker does not want me to have a "good end". and I would like to think that most people don't want to wish that on their friends.
So I would like to correct everyone and wish everyone a גמר חתימה טובה and a שנה טובה.